The Distressed Orphan and The Mighty Huntress
by SURGER-RUSH-HAPPYNESS
Summary: Nepeta begans trolling Dave and charms her way into roleplaying with him. DavexNepeta


**arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG]**

* * *

Dave rubbed his temples. Not this shit again. He has had enough with theses shitty "6 year olds". Is this an aliases of gallowsCalibrator? He though Trezi, or whatever that chicks name was said she wouldn't bother him for another swipe, or was it sweep? Whatever it was a shitty made up unit of time, anyways. There is only one way to find out who the fuck it was. He reluctantly began typing a response.

* * *

TG: just who the fuck are you

AC: :33 nepeta leijon huntress extraordinaire!

TG: so you hunt like animals and shit

AC: :33 yep! hunting is one of my favorite hobbies

TG: nepeta is a type of catnip

TG: what kind of abusive asshole names their child after catnip

TG: thats a name you give to your child if you want them to get stuffed in their goddamn locker every day at school just like the loser protagonist in every other movie featuring a male in high school

TG: ie it is a shitty name

AC: :33 that was rather insulting!

AC: :33 what kind of shitty lusus did you get your manners from

AC: :33 infact i bet you dont even have a lusus

TG: im sorry i insulted you

AC: :33 well guess what im not sorry for insulting your lack of lusii wing beast hair

TG: of course i dont have a luslusi or whatever the fuck you just said

TG: i dont even know what that is

TG: sounds like a disease will get this dave strider is one hundred percent disease free all of the doctors swoon over my perfect health

TG: also my hair doesnt look like a wing beast, who even says stuff like that, my hair is COOL so you can just fuck right off okay?

* * *

Just look at this kid, he is much ruder than you expected, the others were right; the humans sure are dumb. He doesn't even know what a lusus is! How is he even still alive, when he is openly admitting that he doesn't have a lusus? Their also really rude, he insulted you right off the bat, you hadn't even done anything to him, what a crabby person! Nepeta, momentarily felt bad for being rude to Dave, but why should she feel bad when he was rude first? She dismissed her feelings of pity and went back to her keyboard.

Also how is Nepeta Leijon even a dumb name? If anything Dave Strider is a dumb name. You hope for his sake, Equius doesn't ever find about this prick. He is sure to fuck his shit up, you also hope he doesn't discover your vile langue. He is such a tight ass sometimes.

* * *

AC: :33 purrlease you cant really not know what a wing beast is

AC: :33 they are the annoying chirpy flying things that wake you up in the middle of the daytime as you try to get some sl33p you must be really uneducated not to know that

AC: :33 oh wait no surpurrise you dont have a lusus

TG: will you just shut up about the lusus thing

TG: look its my fault this conversation got off on the wrong foot anyways lets start over

TG: hello i am dave strider

TG: amateur photographer

TG: rapper

TG: i run a blog maybe you have heard of me

AC: :33 im nepeta leijon

AC: :33 i kill great beasts for sport and then don myself in their hides :33

TG: lovely

AC: :33 i also like to roleplay

AC: :33 no one everfur wants to roleplay with me :((

AC: :33 say dave you wouldnt be interested in doing anything like that would you

* * *

Dave removed his sunglasses, and stared at his ceiling. Does he really want to humor her? Nepeta, seems like a rather strange name, even though it doesn't really seem like it could count as a name, seeing as it is a type of fucking, catnip. Speaking of catnip, did she just use catpuns, three times in this conversation? She seems pretty weird, with the whole donning the hides of the beasts… that she killed for sport, shit. Who knows what kind of weird kinky roleplay she is into?

'no i dont have time for your stupid game' Dave beings to type, but then quickly erases. What would be the fun in that? Even though he thinks roleplaying is extremely lame, it would be more entertaining to just go a long with it. He really hopes none of his friends finds out about this though; Rose would get so much of a kick out of this. Dave took a deep breath and reversed his reply; he can't believe he is really doing this.

* * *

TG: look okay fine

TG: ill roleplay with you

TG: …just dont tell anyone about this okay

TG: okay what kind of roleplay are we talking about

AC: :33 ohhhhhhh what kind?

AC: :33 hmmm

AC: :33 how about the dashing huntress saves the orphan

TG: im not an orphan

TG: look im so cool i dont even have dead relatives

TG: so obviously i cant be an orphan

* * *

Dave stared at the computer, confessed. Why does she think he is an orphan?

Nepeta started at the ceiling of the lab, and let out a sigh. Does this kid really not know what roleplay is? It's all pretend!

* * *

AC: :33 that's ok its just roleplay! its all purrtend

TG: fine just call me

TG: akwete purrmusk

AC: :33 you can call me

AC: :33 arsenic catnip

AC: :33 or ac for short! h33

TG: creative

TG: using your own chumhandle name for your roleplay

TG: why didnt i think of that

AC: :33 shut up

AC: :33 *the brave huntress awakens from her nap by a noise she is shocked to find a dead lusus outside of her hives door she almost lets out a silent scream but clamps her jaw shut in fear of alerting others to the situation*

AC: :33 *she strides out of her hive and walks to the lusus' dead body looking around for the newly orphaned troll*

TG: sup says my character that i am roleplaying also known as akwete purrmusk *he looks at the gross rotting lusus with apathy the thing is better off dead than alive*

AC: *ac leaps behind akwete purrmusk and covers his mouth*

TG: you can look at the akwete but you cannot touch the akwete

AC: :33 *ac murmurs in a hushed tone akwete dont you s33 here lies your lusus dead! such a thing is punishable by death we must furry before the drones find you if you are to s33 another sunset!*

TG: oh no save me my heroic female prince

AC: :33 *ac gesters down word bowing she purrks up her voice and states ah but i am no prince i am merely a huntress spotting a distressed orphan come with me swiftly ac grabs akwete and lifts him over her shoulders*

TG: oh you are so strong swoooooooon the distressed orphan cries

AC: *h33 ac giggles no time for swooning we have to save you got a last name akwete*

TG: do i look like some kind of loser only losers dont have last names akwete tugged on the collar of his well tailored totally cool rhinestone embed suit

TG: my full name is akwete purrmusk

* * *

The roleplay went on for a surprisingly long time. Nepeta found Dave to be rather crappy at the art of roleplay, and didn't think he was taking things too seriously, but that's okay because things can be funner when they aren't taking seriously sometimes.

Dave found it to be childish and lame, but he couldn't help but be entertained by it all. This was fun. He was having fun. He felt a rare smile surface on his lips. As the roleplay went on it began switching in and out of character, he learned a lot about the strange girl, and he wanted to be closer to her. He might have just meant her but he felt a warm feeling when he thought about her. He couldn't help but laugh at the stories she told during the out of character parts.

Sure she was childish but she was also really fun. The roleplay was nearing its end. Dave began to work up some courage. He had been letting Nepeta dominate most of the roleplay it was time he became a more active in this thing, it might be the end but. Late is better than never. He took a deep breath to work up some courage for what he was about to type. He can't belive he was really doing this. Holy fucking shit, if Rose or John ever found out…

* * *

TG: arsenic you are my hero

TG: akwete turned to face his valiant hero

AC: *oh its nothing ac purrked up*

TG: yes it is you saved me if it wasnt for you i would have died

TG: purrmusk cupped arsenics face in his hands and leaned down to place a kiss on her lips

TG: a kiss like the fucking movies

TG: a kiss that would follow up with an explosion of fireworks

TG: one of those really cheesy kisses that are a sign of true an undying love

* * *

Nepeta felt a rush of blood to her face. Her checks flushed bright green. She was shocked and found this utterly adorable. It doesn't matter if he feels this way in real or not. This had been the cutest and most fun roleplay she had everfur experienced! Covering one hand with her mouth she managed to type one last thing before squealing and falling out of her chair, and hitting her head on the hard, cold, floor of the lab.

* * *

AC: ;3# fmjnjfsretgyf

**arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG]  
**


End file.
